I was a contestant in the 2013 Little Miss & Mister Little Competition. Competing in an age play title contest was probably completely different than any other leather title contest that currently exists, as it had a more playful element that followed the format of a children's pageant.
My background with this contest actually started as a supporter in 2012, when another Little friend decided to compete. I immediately fell in love with the concept of a pageant designed for age players and planned to compete the following year.
About three months before the 2013 contest, my Little's life changed drastically: I was ending the most important age play relationship I had ever experienced and I nearly did not go through with the contest because I was afraid of doing it alone. I originally planned to drop out when I attended the contest's Meet and Greet, but surrounded by other Bigs and Littles who were sympathetic and encouraging made me decide to go ahead and do the contest.
What many people do not realize is that the this contest was set up in a way to support Littles that had Bigs as well as Littles who were not partnered. In fact, the year I competed, three of the other participating Littles had recently ended relationships with their Bigs.
The contest had backstage Bigs to help keep things running smoothly by keeping the Littles organized and encouraging us. Throughout the journey and even during the contest, I felt that I developed a deeper understanding of my kink. It really was not about winning the competition, it was about being recognized as an age player and having a place in the kink and leather community.
I was honored to have won the title Fan Favorite 2013. What I remembered most about the contest was not actually what happened during the contest. My favorite memories were after the contest, when several of the Littles went to a restaurant and ordered all manner of comfort food, colored, and laughed. We had people coming up to us telling us how wonderful we each did and how it really opened their eyes to the age play community. I felt embraced by the kink community and encouraged to be myself, walking around with a stuffie and unashamed of having an often misunderstood kink.
This contest turned me into a Little advocate and during the past year I have performed, blogged, and taught about what the age play community is, what it is not, and how to be a better age player at every opportunity. While I cannot say what would have happened had I bowed out of the contest, I can say that being in the Little Miss & Mister Little Contest took me deeper into the community and into understanding who I am.
What did you do as a Big handler? My friend was a contestant for the first year in the San Francisco contest and I really didn’t realize what I was getting into. I was her support system, because I was still pretty new to the idea of the age play scene. I ened up becoming a middle, really a sister role. I was like a big sister in middle school who helps you go to your first dance and helps you with your routine and get your make up together. It was an interesting role, but one that I never planned to have, but it was a lot of fun.
What was the hardest part of competing? My Little has been out to munches, people knew that I Littled, taking my Little from this persona that I had at munches and making it something that I presented to larger audience was intense. It was almost like being in a scene in little mode for the entire weekend to be ready for my act. I was also a little nervous ‘cause it was the first time I presented this secret part of my personality to a larger audience that might not be accepting of this.
What would you have liked to see done differently? I think there needed to be a little more organization in the back part where we were getting ready. Almost having little sections for each little to be so that not all things were hanging together and making sure that the music worked before. That was one of the issues, my music was not ready for me to come out onstage so I had to be moved to the last. Even though I’d given it, it was not functioning. It was scary for a minute. I didn’t know if I could do my performance.
What have you changed now that you’re a co-producer? One of the things that I’ve been trying to do with Littles is helping them build their talent and help them find talents that fit their personality. I was a hula hooper. I was able to take something that really is an age play experience for me and something that is outside of the kink world a passion of mine and be able to combine the two to share who I am as an age player: a goofy, little rambunctious age player! So, helping Littles to find their niches for talents so there’s not so much of the same talent. There are some that I helped to do their talents already. Just be prepared, Judge!
How was it decided that this year’s contest should have a theme? It’s a very common process in contests and pageants in the age play realm for there to be a theme. I think as an age player, a direction to go as to what they might want to do with their talent, it’s a little more focused. Sugar Plum Dreams was a good suggestion I thought because, whatever holiday you do or not celebrate, there’s a bit of childhood represented with the month of December. The theme is like a focal point to plan their personality and decoration. Makes it a little bit more real, I think. Like going to a much, those munches have theme nights. It gives people a way to connect. It will give people in the audience a way to connect, too.
How did you become a co-producer? *laughter* Okay, so. Last year I came in first runner up. The winner has not had any more interest in going on to pursue the international title and that was something that I did want to do. The title, we found out, was no longer existent. Davina and I had become closer and she asked if I wanted to be a co-producer and help her with the contest. I decided to bow out as a performer because I felt like I could contribute as a collaborator.
Why were you afraid of doing the contest alone? In September I had broken up with my first real Daddy, my first “You are my Daddy, I am your little girl” role. I went to the Meet and Greet originally just to say, I’m not sure if I can do this, and when I got there, there was so much support for me and I realized that this is something that I still wanted to do and that I had support to do. Age play is an experience that is better when other people are involved in some way. In childhood, most good memoried are with adults, other people involved.
How did others encourage you to compete? Muffy, who was going to be the backstage mom was like, “Do it or yourself! I’ll be backstage to help you and support you and be there for you. “ Brie, I remember Brie being like, Brie had also lost her--we became orphans. I’m trying to remember exact details, but they were like, “I’m competing, I lost my Daddy recently, too. We can be in this together.” I can’t remember the exact words, but suddenly I was not alone and the others encouraged me even though that made me competition.
Did you feel that most Littles needed encouragement? Even though this is a contest and there is a leather title with it, I really like to compare it to a scene to anyone who is a part of it. There's so much energy and excitement. “Where are my bobby pins? Where’s my left shoe?” There are so many crises. For me, the person who was supposed to help me wasn’t there until the middle of my act. But then everyone started helping each other. There’s an intense energy, but, “I have bobby pins! Here’s your shoe! I found it! Do you want to hold my stuffie?” After the competition there were emotions. After we went out to a bar--I should say a restaurant. We all had ice cream. We needed after care. It’s a good time, but the reality is that this is still a scene.
How did the contest help you develop an understanding of your kink? There’s an aspect about private play as oppose to not just public, but in a contest. You end up looking at yourself. How am I presenting? What am I doing? People, after the competition, had all these questions about age play for us. I felt like I had to understand a lot about age play. I started reading more about age play. One of the books was Age Play: From Diapers to Diplomas--and I read your book, too. Just understanding the different roles involved. Age play is not just as simple as “Oh! It’s a little girl and a Daddy or a Mommy and a little girl!” There’s so much psychologically going on as in any other scene.
Is age play an activity, fetish, or identity for you? Something else? That’s a good question. It’s always fluctuating within myself still. I have Hello Kitty underwear, which is certainly a fetish item, but it’s just a childhood character on my panties. There’s a child within all of us I believe. How much we let this child out and how much we show varies. This is as much a part of my identity as a kink.
Why do you think that you won Fan Favorite? I was really touched that the audience supported me. I felt like I was myself throughout the contest and did my best.
How do you feel about the judge’s decision about who won 2013 San Francisco Little Miss Little over you? It was my first time meeting her and I did not see her presentation so it’s hard to really say anything one way or the other. As much as it would have been awesome to have won, my age play experience does not depend on having a title.
What is your favorite memory of the contest? Dancing on the stage with other contestants. We had completed everything and it was fun just to be able to relax.
You’ve had a number of roles in connection with Little Miss & Mister Little: handler, contestant, co-producer. Which has been your favorite? Each role really had things that made it great. I loved supporting my friend the first year, I loved being a contestant, and this year it is a huge honor to get to actually help produce the contest.
What have you done to promote the contest? I have encouraged other age players to compete over the past year. As a co-producer I have continued to do that and have been reaching out to different groups and venues to raise awareness of the contest.
What would be your ideal Little Miss or Mister Little? They are both passionate about age play and supporting awareness in the kink community and active in their local community. They do not have to be leaders as much as being people who are doing good things such as teaching, advocating, writing, and/or organizing events.
Where would you like to see the contest in five years? I would like to see it represent the different flavors of age play throughout the world. I imagine littles coming from other states and countries to compete.
Do you plan on co-producing next year? I hope to or at the very least be supportive in continuing to build the contest.
